And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
