Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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