Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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