People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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