Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
