I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize