put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
This toilet bowl is my home.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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