I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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