And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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