This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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