Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
