bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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