Capitaan dildo arrescate!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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