I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
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you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
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If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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