finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
