I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
