She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
