I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
