I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
