so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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