i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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