Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
