my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize