Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
