Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize