I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
