no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
