It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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