Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
