Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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