Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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