connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
