I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
