I have demons in me.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
