i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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