That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
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