This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
