I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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