I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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