I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
