It's Friday. Sex?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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