i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
