whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
