Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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