Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize