Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
