it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
