Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
