Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Jerry, you need to find god
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
