hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
