Kiss
Puke
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My bed smells like the plague
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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