You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
