i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
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She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
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One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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