careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
