The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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