he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
