We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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