I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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