what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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