You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
