This girl is more easily done than said...
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
