Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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