i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize